Cancer Woman and Scorpio Man

Bee Wolf-Ray
Cancer woman and Scorpio man

Is true love in the stars for a Cancer woman and a Scorpio man? These deeply feeling water signs have some very similar needs, but also some marked differences. Two water sign people can feel they know and understand one another deeply from the moment they first meet. Over time, differences and difficulties will arise; should they successfully resolve these, they will easily have a loving, trusting and mutually nourishing relationship.

Cancer Women Are Motherly

Woman and full mooon

A Cancer woman wants nothing more than to mother and care for her loved ones. A man who allows himself to be cared for, fed and cried over will entice any Cancer female to devote herself to him. She is loyal to a fault. She feels her way through life, and her loyalties dictate her choices rather than logic. If she loves someone, he can do no wrong in her eyes. If he mistreats her, she will try to take the blame herself. Her vulnerability is immense! Treat her with respect and kindness and she will give you the Moon.

What Cancer Needs

While she is maternal and caring, the Cancer woman is often childlike and vulnerable. Her moods are cyclic; sometimes she needs to collapse in tears, and when she does, she needs to know she is safe. To Cancer emotions are like the weather, tears as necessary as the rain. When she feels free to allow her feelings to flow, she is nourished and able to give from a replenished cup.

This woman is a softie, she loves kitties and babies and sweet warm sentiments. Whatever you do, do not belittle or humiliate her. She will endure it if she loves you, but it will crush something precious in her heart. Give her an inch and she will give a mile, but if you poison her sweetness with cynicism, she can give only bitterness and defeat. Yes, she can be broken; don't be that guy.

Scorpio Men Are Mysterious

Mysterious hand

A Scorpio is so deep he is impossible to understand. To gaze into a Scorpio man's eyes is to peer down a long dark tunnel with glimmerings of deep light at the other end. What is happening in that light? Even he doesn't know. This man operates on gut instinct. Instead of peering into his navel, he moves forward with power. He is vulnerable, and deeply so, but what his triggers are, he does not himself realize until after he is triggered. He may not understand that he is angry until his target reacts to his attack.

To stay in a relationship he should learn to say, "I'm so sorry" rather a lot until he grows to understand himself better. This is not easy, for he views it as a sign of weakness, but it becomes easier with practise. He will learn and grow, but he can't do it alone.

What Scorpio Needs

Scorpio needs to be met sexually. It's not only that he requires sex (although he does); he can't be satisfied with mere physical gratification for long. He craves passion born of deep intimacy which can fuel his transformation. Scorpio must evolve. Though it is a fixed sign which resists change, Scorpio burns with terrible agony and ecstasy that forces change upon him. Through a deep bonded relationship, he grows.

With the power of primal sexual and emotional merging, he may die and be reborn. The symbol for Scorpio is the scorpion, but as he evolves it becomes the serpent, the eagle and ultimately the phoenix. He is looking for a mate who can handle his intensity, forgive his lapses and remain loyal and accepting no matter what.

Challenges They Face

Even two water signs together can face significant challenges in a long term love relationship. With Cancer and Scorpio, their styles are very different.

Safe or Scary

Cancer can be easily frightened. She wants a normal, safe life, or so she thinks. Yet Scorpio contains endless mystery and exudes an aura of danger and power. Deep down they are the same, they can 'feel' one another and share a powerful empathic link. However, the water element is changeable, and manifests quite differently in cardinal Cancer than it does in fixed Scorpio. Fixed water is ice, contained, cold and not very comforting to be around, though it is stimulating and even compelling. Cardinal water is alive, a lake warmed by the summer sun. The Cancer woman is most at home in a warm bath of soft emotion. Scorpio's ancient depths and icy cliffs baffle and frighten her.

Vulnerability Versus Power

Cancer does not care about power or ambition. Give her babies to cuddle and coo over, or clients she can help, or a sick partner who needs tending, and she is in her glory. A sad, romantic movie with a box of chocolates at one hand and a box of tissues on the other is her idea of a perfect date. If cuddling happens, she likes it to start in safe loving arms while softly sobbing about the plight of the hero and heroine. Her dream lover anticipates her every emotion and communicates without words that she is wonderful even with her face blotchy and red from crying.

Yet the Scorpio man is demanding and intense. He hides his vulnerability behind a veneer of sexual power, which he positively radiates. He is dangerously sexy, which frightens the Cancer woman who (she fears) lacks the worldly sensuality of other women who might be lined up to tempt her man away from her. This guy, until he cracks his shell and melts the ice around his locked-in emotions, may not seem like a safe bet for vulnerable sharings; he is quick with ironic observations that can pierce until she bleeds. Her instinctive response might be, "Run away! Danger! Alert!"

Possessiveness of Soul

The Scorpio man, once he has committed to a lasting relationship, is powerfully possessive. Cancer is jealous of her mate, but her jealousy is rooted in fear that she is not exciting or sexy enough for him, which leads to mistrust that he would want to commit to being with her. Scorpio's possessiveness is deeper and darker than that. This man wants to own his mate, body and soul, wishes to devour her and be devoured in return, so that they can become something new together born of mutual surrender.

However, the Cancer woman needs to be more than just his lover. She puts her family first, and if he tries to make her abandon her life and give all of herself to him, she regretfully declines. This woman is loyal to the people in her life. If he says "You must choose: me or your dog (or cat, child, best friend, family member)," then the answer won't be what he wants it to be. His power plays and demands will not work on her; he must share her with the others who depend on her. She is a maternal soul with a network of loved ones.

Walking On Eggshells

One of the most important challenges for Cancer in a relationship with Scorpio is that over time she may become too careful of hurting his feelings or triggering an outburst. His power intimidates her, for she views herself as small and weak. Yet she is empathic; she senses his vulnerability and is frightened of her own power to wound him, and of his tendency to lash out when he is hurt. Pain will happen, and these two will trigger one another simply by existing. Pain and pleasure, sadness and joy are all parts of the emotional spectrum, and as water signs, they each know this for themselves. Cancer is willing to be hurt, but it hurts her so much more to know that she is hurting him.

He lacks patience for any sort of carefulness. He demands authenticity, and he requires that his woman be strong enough to hold her own with him. If she shrinks herself and walks on eggshells, flinching away from any possibility she might hurt or be hurt, he loses interest. He wants all of her, not a shrunken, disempowered version. As he grows, so too must she grow into her power to match him.

Common Ground

The Scorpio man craves deep, true love and intimacy as much as the Cancer woman does; perhaps even more because she needs other family to love and care for besides him. The primary difference between them is that she is at ease with her emotional vulnerability, and he is not. Vulnerability, the ability to cry so easily, is her superpower, and he envies her that. His envy makes him seem disdainful, and despite a real attraction to one another, that appearance may keep her at arm's length. He needs to allow his icy veneer to crack and melt to bond as deeply as he must.

His destiny drives him into his depths, toward the hidden pain and buried emotion under the ice. The Cancer woman can help him melt, embrace him without judgment and with compassion, and allow him to be all of himself around her.

Evolving Soul

The water element has one imperative, to dissolve and flow together with other water. The Scorpio craves the transformational potential of deeply merging his essence with the soul of another, but his fixed nature coupled with the daunting power of the emotional energy he is tapped into makes it so hard to surrender. Power does not come easily; evolution makes demands. The Scorpio must give over everything of himself to merge and blend with a mate.

The Cancer woman is precisely what he needs, if he can only realize it, and if she can rise to the occasion and own her power equally with him. For a Scorpio, it is all or nothing. Either he strips himself of his self protective veils and opens himself deeply to a life mate who can accept him for what he is and grow to match him, or he will skate upon the surface of himself, alone even with others. There is no alternative for him if he is to fulfill his tremendous potential.

Emotional Courage

The Cancer woman will go through fire for her lover, provided he does not violate the sacred ground of their relationship. He will very likely hurt her as a side effect of his difficult path to melting and healing his deep emotional wounding. She is willing to be hurt, on one condition: he must recognize and acknowledge what he has done, and apologize to her and mean it. It is crucial that he never intends to hurt her. If she knows that he can't help himself (and he can't) when he says hurtful things, and if he proves to her that to cause her harm hurts him too (and it does, for deep down, they are one), then she will forgive him after sobbing, shouting, whatever it takes to express her pain and betrayal.

She is emotionally brave! She will feel whatever it takes to sustain love, and she will forgive so long as it helps him evolve until he can stop acting out. He is an emotional powerhouse, and as he allows his heart and courage to grow, he will face his demons and integrate them, accepting himself as he needs to be accepted.

Growing Together

Two water signs' greatest ally is time. As they grow, gaining experience, sharing emotions and developing a deep, wordless bond, they become psychically merged. After they have been together a long while, the agony it would cause them both to separate becomes greater than any pain they suffer through their connection. Over time, the history of shared trust, truth and pleasure they have together diminishes the pain; it hurts less as their triggers heal.

Taking It to the Next Level

These two people can be one of those enviably strong soulmate connections. They are both empathic, they understand one another, and their needs are in harmony. With emotional courage and vulnerability, they challenge one another enough to take it to the next level, to become two souls that share one heart.

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Cancer Woman and Scorpio Man